OCD

Maybe I should get it out there that I am a perfectionist and probably a little obsessive compulsive. It's to the point where I mostly never let anyone help me with anything, because I only want things done my way. That sounds so horrible in writing but it's true. We just had our 2nd annual Halloween Bash and this is one of the first times I've allowed other people to help me cook food and hang decorations for a party. I love being a hostess, but with that comes my urgent need for everything to be absolutely wonderful and impressive. I want the largest selection of food, the funnest atmosphere and an amazingly good time to be had by all...except for me. I always spend so much energy trying to make everything perfect that I stress way out and don't enjoy one minute of it. Even my own engagement party was spent watching a pot of water boil for corn because I was so busy trying to do everything myself that I forgot to turn the stove on for such a little thing.

So the Halloween party...I will say that I still went back and moved some decorations around, BUT there were many things I forced myself not to care about and just be grateful that people were wiling and able to help. And I had a blast! People were fed and fun was had by all including me! I desperately have to keep this experience in mind for our Big Day. It's perfectly fine to let go of my own image of how things need to be. We're getting married and nothing else matters, right?

I had sent out an email to our families and wedding party with a list of items we were hoping to obtain for our wedding. I tried to make little to no specifications on the items, forcing me to make do with what I'm given. After all beggars can't be choosers. I received the 1st items off my list the day of our Halloween party. Josh's mom had called earlier in the day asking me what type of blue vases I was looking for. In the midst of party preparation I had no time to return her call and when Josh's brother Nick showed up for the party with the vases, I got nervous about what they looked like. "what if they're not our style? the wrong shade of blue? too small? too big?" I opened the bag to find she had purchased vases that look identical to ones I had gotten on clearance months ago! It was a sign; If I can learn to let go, then I will be rewarded with beautiful blue vases. Er... I mean...don't worry, be happy.